Scientific philosophies

Here's some scientific philosophies that could save us alot of money if perfected.

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago. This makes for very low cost transportation, provided there are no dogs along the route.

Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out. Nice to know it's not what I'm talking about at club meetings that cause it.

The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast. So if we only cut short trees, we could slow it down and save gas by not working against the forces of a faster rotation.

The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it's easier to go faster when you're always going downhill. This also saves gas, because everyone knows you use less gas going going downhill as opposed to uphill.

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells." Now we know.

---------Addendum---------

I also have some answers for the garment industry. See what you think-

Since kids today wear their pants with the waist around thier knees, companies could cut a foot off the inseam. With the foot they cut off the inseam, they could add 4 inches to the top of old mens pants so it's more comfortable when they pull the waistband up their chests. That's still saves them 8 inches per garment.

A natural extension of this thought is take 12 inches off the bottom of old men's shirts that they don't need because their waistband is up to their chest anyway. Add 4 inches to the bottom of kids shirts to cover their butt when their waist is at their knees. Another 8 inches per garment made.