windinghills suggestion

windinghills said- 1st comment under "anti-crime prgrams" post

I would like to see a super-hero take it upon oneself to defend our streets from crooks and villians.

Cruiser Man(TM) could ride in an old classic car dressed in spandex and use a variety of weapons i.e. throwing wrenches, paint/grease-guns, and smoke screens.

windinghills,
There are a few problems with your idea. While at first glance it seems like a very good plan I don't see criminals running in fear from a skinny, balding, greying, weezing,senior citizen in an equally old car.

The spandex, as I said in my comment after yours, is definitely out. I have come to the conclusion that there is no safe color for my body type. If I chose red, dogs would chase me thinking I'm a large hot dog. Likewise, brown is out as dogs like to chase sticks. Blue would make me look like a big popsicle; although, red, white and blue might make me look like a bomb pop.

The other problem lies with my faithful sidekick; stinky, the three legged dog. For obvious reasons I couldn't let him ride inside the car, and with his loss of limb, he's not coordinated enough to ride on the roof.

I am however, in negotiations with Harbor Freight tools, to see how cheap I could buy tools to lob at criminals. I'm not using my Snap-On. And lastly, the smokescreen. That wouldn't be a problem as long as there's a crowd of people around and I take my truck. My truck never smokes when I'm alone, but get to a car show and a crowd and it will look like someone set off an atomic bomb. It is a pretty smoke cloud though. You see my dilema.

If you, or anyone else, has any suggestions to remedy these problems I would consider the task.
Cruiser